A Path of Life
by Cassiopeia's
Summary: Where does life begin? With the moment a person is able to make their own decision? Or when he or she is born? Does their life begin the second they are born or conceived? When their parents decide they want them and pick out a name? My name is Tommy, well Thomas, but nobody (except for my grandma) calls me that and I will try to answer all of those questions for you.
1. 0 - 1

**Okay, so this kinda popped into my head. I really don't know yet what it is or how it's gonna turn out. **

**The chapters -if you can actually call them that- are between two and three pages each, so like really short and because 0 and 1 are both too short to be published alone, I did them together.  
**

**Hope you have fun reading this, reviews would be nice.**

* * *

**-A Path Of Life-**

* * *

**-0-**

Life can be quite funny. It's so colorful and exciting and somehow it never proceeds like you think it should. Things happen coincidently or by choice and you have to live with those consequences. You meet people and lose them, there's drama and there's happiness.  
There are so many aspects to life that it's difficult to sum it up.

But where does life begin? With the moment a person is able to make their own decision? Or when he or she is able to think straight? Does their life begin the second they are born or conceived? When their parents decide they want them and pick out a name?

My name is Tommy, well _Thomas_, but nobody (except for my grandma) calls me that and I will try to answer all of those questions for you.

* * *

**-1-**

She knows he knows something is up. After all, she's been behaving weird for the last week. But she's just really overwhelmed and she sure as hell doesn't know how to tell him. They never really talked about this, because, well, their "Someday…" talk doesn't really count, does it? And she was comfortable with "someday" because this neither meant "now" or "soon".

"So tell me what are you doing down here? I've told you everything I know about our Jane Doe just two hours ago. You wanna tell me what's on your mind?" Miraculously, Lanie has already put every creepy utensil and body part away, before Kate even entered the morgue minutes ago, and she's really thankful because otherwise she might have just gotten sick right here in front of her friend.

"I'm pregnant," she says out loud for the first time and as soon as she notices Lanie's bright smile she feels her stomach churning.

"That's great, honey. Congratulations." Lanie comes to hug her, but Kate winces and moves out of her friend's reach.

"No, it's really not. I don't know what to do."

Confused, Lanie stares at her. "Why not? I'm sure Castle is all over the moon."

She really blames her stupid hormones, but the mention of Castle's name just makes her cry again. "Yeah, I'm sure he would. But, Lanie, I really don't think I want this. I…I mean, I don't know how to do this. You should've seen me with this baby boy months ago. I'm terrible with kids, I don't have my mom to tell me how the hell I am supposed to do this. And you know Castle. He'll be all excited and will have everything sorted out before my first trimester is even over and I just can't do this."

Lanie is equally shocked and confused now, but nevertheless she hugs her friend. "Kate, honey, I am sure it's normal to feel a little apprehensive, especially if it's your first. But your baby daddy will know exactly what to do, trust me. You'll just have to tell him. It's normal to be a little scared, Kate."

"Aren't I supposed to feel excited, too? Because I am really not. All I can think about is in how many different ways I am gonna fail this child and how I am really not ready for this." Tears are streaming down her face and she feels tired and emotional, and she just really wants her mom right now.

"Kate, are you thinking about getting rid of it?", Lanie slowly asks, her voice as neutral as she can muster.

Kate tries to avoid her friend's gaze, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. "I know I really shouldn't, but I-"

"You're really thinking about it and not even telling your husband? Kate, I really think he should have a say in this. It's his child too, after all."

She knows it's irrational to get angry, but she just doesn't seem to have control over herself anymore. She already hates this pregnancy.  
"I know, alright? I know it's wrong, but Castle would never let me… he would want it so badly and I don't want to hurt him more and lose him and…"

She's crying fully now, uncontrollable sobs forcing their way out of her and Lanie desperately tries to comfort her friend.

"Promise me you'll think this through. Don't do something stupid, Kate. Talk to him. It's okay to be afraid and not to be ready. I'm sure it's really frightening right now, but you've got nine months to get used to this. I promise things will get better. And someday soon you'll be really excited about this and be a really damn good mom for this little thing."

She gently strokes Kate's hair and notices her friend's breathing slowly begins to slow down. It's been quite some time since she's seen the strong detective so emotional, almost hysterical, but it's seems like she's found her equilibrium again.

"Now, Kate, woman up and tell your husband he's gonna be a daddy again."

Lanie instantly regrets her choice of words, because Kate starts crying all over again. Obviously, it's gonna take some time to get her ready to face her overly excited husband.


	2. 2

**-2-**

He's nervously pacing in the living room because he plans on confronting his wife. She's been behaving weird for almost a week now, avoiding him at all costs. When he woke up in the mornings she's already gone and during work she pretends to be so busy that she can't spare him a few minutes to talk.  
On the evenings she's always tired and wants to go to bed early.  
And besides all of that, he noticed she has become a little more reckless during the job. A couple of days ago she just ran right into two suspects, tackling them down, instead of waiting for backup.

Something is definitely up and he as sure as hell is going to find out what.

She texted him half an hour ago she'd be home soon, would bring takeout and he really hopes this means she's willing to have the talk they obviously need to have.

They have been married for four months now. After this whole marriage fiasco and his "accident", they decided to have a small ceremony in the Hamptons, just them, his daughter and mother, her dad, the Ryans, Lanie and Esposito. It has been sweet and romantic and they had spent four weeks after that in the Hamptons, just the two of them, enjoying each other's company and the beginning of their married life.  
So far everything has been quite alright. They live and work together, they are best friends, the sex is amazing and even his mother is looking for her own apartment. Alexis has moved back into the dorms of college because she felt her father and her stepmom need a little space and she's old enough to stay on her own. Of course, he and Kate have refused at first, saying the loft was her home too, but Alexis insisted.

The key in the door pulls him out of his thoughts and he looks up expectantly. Kate walks into the room, a plastic bag of Thai in her hand and throws her keys and her cell on the table.

"Hey," she greets, smiling shyly and he instantly knows _she _knows it's time for a talk. "You hungry? I haven't eaten all day."

Castle moves over to her, gently taking the back from her hands and pulls her into a kiss. He, at least, needs a little normalcy for now.

Soon, they sit on the couch, eating dinner and he finally gathers up the nerve to pop the question.

"What's going on, Kate?"

She pales instantly and he almost fears she's going to run, but then she sighs and just looks away. "I really don't know how to tell you," she says softly and his heart sinks. Obviously, it's something big.

His mind rapidly starts going through every minute of the last four months, if something happened or if he did something stupid to make her reconsider their marriage, but he comes up with nothing except happy memories and Kate's smiling face.

Then his brain dashes into another direction. What if she's sick? Oh god! His stomach churns and he fears he needs to go to the bathroom, when Kate's hand on his refocuses him.

"It's nothing that terrible, I think," she says upon seeing his face and reading his sickening thoughts.

"Then what is it?", he asks nervously, squeezing her fingers to make sure she knows she can tell him everything, but she removes her hand and avoids his gaze again.

"The thing is, I know what's your reaction going to be like and I can't deal with the overly excited, nine-year-old on sugar rush goofball right now," she slowly explains, before looking at him nervously. "I need you to be not you right now. I need you to be serious and to listen to me, okay, Castle?"

Now he feels really confused because this doesn't make sense. If it's something he'll be excited about why would she-

"Focus, Castle," she gently, but determinedly demands.

He nods, forcing his mind to shut down and concentrate on her because she obviously has something important to say that's quite difficult for her.

With another uncertain look into his eyes, she suddenly blurts it out, without looking at him.

"I am pregnant."


	3. 3

Hi,

thanks for your reviews so far. I hope you'll all like this and the following chapters.

* * *

**-3-**

"It's still my body, Castle, and if I feel like I can't do this I have the right to say so!", she shouts, angry at him, because he just _demands _that she keeps the baby.

"Yeah, but it's also my baby, so Kate, we are quite in a situation where you can't just selfishly think about your own needs!", he shouts right back, because this really can't be happening. She can't seriously think about getting rid of _their baby_. Has she lost her mind?

"Selfish?", she cries, "I just can't do this, Castle. I can't promise my kid I'll see it in the evening when I don't know if I can't keep that promise. I don't know how to raise a child, explain to him to be responsible and honest when I am neither honest nor responsible. I can't stop being me to raise a child. That's neither fair to the child nor me."

"I am here, too, you know? And I've done this before. I know how to-"

"Ask Alexis, there're just some things a dad just can't do," she snaps harshly, ignores the hurt in his eyes.

She really doesn't want to hurt him, but she's just so scared and he's expecting so much and she just can't do this.

"I think I need some space," she says, moving to grab her cell and keys.

"Don't you dare walking out on me. For better or worse, Kate, remember?", Castle calls out and she turns around, still angry and hurt.

"What do you want me to do, Castle?", she asks tiredly.

He's in front of her a second later, gently taking her hands in his. "I want you to think about it from another perspective for a second. Don't think about your job or your fear of failing," he says, is voice rough and low.

"Close your eyes," he gently demands and she follows his lead.

"Think about the moment you feel him kick you from the inside for the very first time. Think about her first smile, the first steps she takes. The first time he says mommy to you. Think about how she'll just look like this tiny version of you and me who will love you endlessly and whom you'll love more than anything in the world."

He can see the gentle smile on her lips, can see the pictures himself in his head and he wants this so badly he can hardly breathe.

"It will be like riding on a rollercoaster. Frightening and exciting at the same time and you'll love every second of it, because it's so damn worth it, Kate."

Tears are streaming down her cheeks again and when she opens her teary eyes, she puts her forehead carefully against Castle's.

"I wanna meet this tiny person, Rick."

He exhales the breath he has been holding and kisses her feverishly. Tries to make her lose her mind, so she'll never think about why this could be anything else than right.

Because having a baby with her will be the best. No matter what she thinks, he knows she's gonna be the greatest mom ever and she'll love their child more than life itself and he'll do anything in his power to protect the both of them and make sure Kate comes home to them for the rest of his life.


	4. 4

**Thanks a lot for your reviews so far. Here's the next chapter.**

* * *

**-4-**

They have received many different reactions to their news, but no bad ones.

Her dad is just happy to have a baby around again because to be honest, he feels kind of lonely.

Alexis is relieved that her dad has another child to care for and hopes his attention will switch a little so he won't make a fuss like he did with Pi when she will tell him she's got a ridiculously, smoking hot new boyfriend who doesn't just ride a bike (she blushes even thinking about this).

His mother, well she's just his mother. She just raises her hands and thanks god out loud that at least this time her son waited until he was married to the girl before he knocked her up. After that she congratulates Kate while Castle pouts.

Captain Gates congratulates them too, but is reluctant to see her lead detective go into maternity leave and they are all more than a little surprised when she orders Ryan to be the leader during the time Kate is off work and they get a rookie.

Ryan and Esposito are bumping fists with Castle and making unbelievably inappropriate comments, until they find out Lanie knew of Kate's pregnancy long before they did. After that they pout.

Paula advises Castle to make an official announcement and ask the curious people politely to leave his pregnant wife the hell alone and he does just that.

Kate still feels some anxiety from time to time, but during morning sickness, food cravings, appointments with her gynecologist and redesigning the larger one of the two guest rooms in the loft into a baby room, she's got almost no time to think too hard about this.

And like Lanie said, she's already started to feel pretty excited, too. She's relieved she kept the baby and now, eleven weeks into her pregnancy she feels happy, content and almost sure they are gonna be just fine.

Kate takes Alexis shopping because she really doesn't fit into her own clothes anymore and because the younger woman is still furious with her dad because he indeed made a fuss when he found about her motorcycle boyfriend _Josh_ who also appears to be the leader of a rock band and has got several tattoos.  
Kate pities him a little because she knows her own Josh really did a number on Castle, but nevertheless she thinks it's a little funny and god, from an objective perspective she really has to say this: twenty-three-year-old Josh Reynolds is pretty hot and her inner wild side can really understand why Alexis is swooning over him.  
Yet, Castle really needs to work on his reactions towards the girl's boyfriends, especially if their baby turns out to be a girl. He says he's absolutely certain it is gonna be a boy because god wouldn't punish him with another woman (which earns him a punch from the other women in his life), but Kate knows better than to trust Castle's babble.

When the day of her next appointment with her OBGYN in week 17 arrives, she's just as excited as Castle because they might actually get to know their child's gender. But she also feels fear because what if it's a girl? Will Castle be okay with that? Because by now it's kinda obvious he badly wants to have a boy. So what if it's a girl? Will he love her less? Will he love her at all? Emotions whirl all around in her and her heart beats nervously.  
Linda, her OBGYN smiles reassuringly at them and Castle takes her hand while Linda gently starts the sonogram.

"Look at that, Kate. Congratulations, mom and dad, you've got a baby boy."

She feels bad about the relief she feels, but Castle instantly makes her forget.

He does a fist bump and while he babbles on and on what he and his little man are going to get into, Kate calmly explains to Linda that Castle's already got too many women in his life and feels the need to have male backup.

Everything is fine, until Martha asks what they are going to name him.

Castle's answer comes instantly. "Cosmo!"

Kate's eyes widen with horror. "No!"


	5. 5

**Thanks for your reviews so far. This chapter's probably gonna be quite ooc, but here ya go anyway.**

* * *

**-5-  
**

He's been writing in his office for hours while Kate is relaxing in the living room, a hot chocolate and a book (_his _wife is reading Peterson), when she suddenly calls his name.

"Castle!"

He instantly panics, jumps to his feet and nearly run to her, afraid something might have happened.

She's got a look of pure wonder on her face and he figures whatever's made her call him, it's not something terrible.

"What is it?", he asks breathlessly and a little confused, because the damned book she's been reading, lies on the floor and she's got her hand pressed tightly against her slowly growing belly.

"He kicked, Castle. I felt him kick," she says in wonder, watching him out of wide, brown eyes and he feels his own face light up in a smile.

Sitting down next to her, he asks excitedly: "Think he'll do it again?" But he doesn't even wait for her reply, slides his own hand under hers before bending down so his face is right in front of her belly.

"Hey there, Tommy. Buddy, you wanna kick for daddy, too?", he softly says, nudging his nose gently against Kate's skin.

He's so cute that Kate can't help but tear up again (wow, she really hates her hormones these days) and apparently mommy's distress makes the baby boy indeed kick right against his father's nose.

Kate can't help but giggle while Castle stupidly grins and exclaims: "That's my boy."

She's interrupted by her phone. It's Lanie, asking how her godson is doing. She feels Castle's hand slowly creeping along her thigh into her shorts. Instantly, arousal spreads through her belly.

"He's great, I think," Kate answers, "he just punched Castle in the nose after all," she tells her friend still laughing and Lanie laughs too.

"Well, good to know he's just as badass as his mom," Lanie jokes. "You up for some girl time?", she asks. "I might need it."

Kate instantly notices her tone and knows something is not right. She hopes it's not Esposito again because really she just can't hear the drama anymore. Castle and her both think anyway that Lanie is just a little too touchy and Javi too much of an idiot to really get their act together.

"Yeah, I could use some too," she says therefore, "what have you got in mind?"

And while Lanie babbles about a really great ice cream parlor, Castle's fingers have finally found their way into her panties and she can't stop gasp.

"You alright, Kate?"

"Fine, just Tommy kicking," she lies and closes her eyes when Castle finds her already wet folds.

Her body instantly reacts to his rhythmic moves and her pelvis starts rocking against his hand while he slowly strokes his thick fingers in and out of her. Kate's breathing speeds up and she huskily tells Lanie she'll meet her in an hour and a half, before she throws her cell on the table and jumps her husband.

It's way past an hour later before she meets Lanie for ice cream. Her friend sits a little miserably and Kate sighs before asking if Javi's been an idiot again, but her friend just shrugs.

"I just don't think it's ever going to work out between us. You know, first Jenny and Ryan and now you and Castle, you've all gotten yourself a little family and it's nice. I guess someday I want that, too. Not right now, but in a year or two I might like that, but Javi…is a great uncle for Sarah Grace, but he's not a daddy. He likes kids when they aren't his own, you know? So does that mean I have to choose? Between the life I want for me someday and the guy who means more to me than anything?"

At first Kate doesn't know what to say, but then she thinks this might be the time to be really honest about this.

"Lanie, you know I love Javi, he's like a brother to me, but…well, to be honest I never really believed this thing between you and him was ever going to be anything more than a fling. Because it's what he does. I've known him for so long and I've never seen him commit to a relationship. I think he loves you, don't get me wrong, but you're a sweet girl and someday you'll be a really amazing mom, but I don't see Javi being your children's dad."

She ignores Lanie's shocked face and continues because maybe, she thinks, this is what her friend really needs. An honest opinion on her unhealthy relationship with Javier Esposito.

"You wanna know what I think? You should start looking for the right guy again, because I am sure he's out there and isn't a Hispanic named Javier Esposito. I'm sure it's hard and I know you love him, but you shouldn't give up your dreams for a guy. You'll just end up resenting each other one day."


	6. 6

**-6-**

"Again?"

Castle's face looks like a tomato and he feels like jelly. She really can't be serious. "You're turning into a sex lunatic, Mrs. Castle," he pants after round three.

His very pregnant wife has gotten quite the appetite and he doesn't know how much longer he'll be able to satisfy her.  
She's definitely going to be the death of him.

Kate looks gorgeous. Her cheeks a red, she's got the glow and a ridiculous sex hair. She grins cheekily at him, before she steals another mind blowing kiss. "You've got fifteen minutes to recover."

Groaning, Castle watches her leaving for the bathroom. He thinks he's really going to be in the need of those little blue pills if she keeps this up.

Ryan and Esposito are grinning widely at him because he's walking funny. He thinks it's embarrassing, but then again, it's pretty hot, too.

"Oh yeah, I remember that time," Ryan chuckles, blushing a little. "Feeling like a milked cow already?"

"Shut up, honeymilk," Castle hisses, quickly checking if no one overheard them.

He sees Kate, a cup of tea in her hand, as she moves her big body towards her desk. She's in her third trimester now, usually feeling uncomfortable, but from time to time this horniness overcomes her and then she needs him to make her feel better.

It won't take much longer before their baby boy will be born and he's already so very excited. The boys helped them finishing Tommy's room last weekend and now everything is about ready for the boy's arrival.

He knows Kate equally fears and longs for the birth. Like every woman she's pretty afraid, but she already told him she'll be glad when she'll have her body to herself again ("Mrs. Castle, your body won't be just yours ever again!").

"Her maternity leave starts tomorrow. You ready for everything?", Ryan asks and Castle nods.

"Yeah, I think so. She's getting a little cranky and I really am not looking forward to her being all moody because she isn't allowed into work, but at least she understands why she needs rest. I just hope she won't make my life a living hell."

Ryan and Esposito laugh at him. "Don't worry, bro. We'll come visit all the time to check if you're still alive."

He grins at them. "Thanks guys."


End file.
